Its a terrible thing to lose a limb, but I’ve never bothered to ask why
because what matters is learning to live with the fact that now I’M the disabled guy!
I’m getting stared at by passer by “look he’s lost a leg, I think I’d rather die”
I’m a freak and people take a peek on the sly, I walk in a room and conversation runs dry.
Sometimes fear becomes a sneer as I walk by
they can’t hide their distaste no matter how hard they try
but some smile a smile that’s wide and wry
cos they know its all about the attitude I apply
cos on the inside there’s a tragic ladder I climb to kiss the sky
so that most of the time I feel like the most high…superfly…disabled guy.
Its a helluva thing becoming disabled after 40 able bodied years
Hello. Come in. Sit down. Let me introduce you to your greatest fears.
Here’s a glass half full of laughter and here’s a glass half full of tears
and here’s a brand new rude awakening to a completely new group of peers
So after 40 formative years, I stand before you…deformed
the glorious cause, the need for me to be reborn
the same cause all the fallen hordes hope not to be in forlorn
shorn of my born adornment I stand in the dark before the dawn
wearing the sexiest NHS accessory, I’ve ever flippin worn!
So when I get on the bus and I see some young buck
sitting in the disabled seats the cheeky fuck
I stand in front of him and I say “check dis bruv”
and I slowly begin to pull my trouser leg up
then i stare at him…then i stare at my leg
then i stare at him…then i stare at my leg
then i stare at him…then i shake my head
and if looks could kill, well…he’d be dead
see i get my powers from the kids
some call me a flid, but most think i’m inspector gadget
and when they see the leg they all point and stare
and when they see the stump the little girls get scared
but my little mate Neo didn’t care
he took one look and said “Oh Yeah!
I bionic leg! Cool! I want one too!”
I’m like, “Wake up Neo, legs are best still attached to you”
See I used to think we were freaks too
we used to make me uncomfortable like we can do you
i didn’t quite know what to say or do
i didn’t wanna get caught up in any “boo hoo hoo”
but now I’m one of them and they’re one of me
and when the shoes on the other foot its amazing what you see
people dealing with agony, people dealing with tragedy
with fantastic existential majesty
people who’s physicality, is way worse than an amputee
but who’s intensity of empathy is absolutely exemplary
See disabled people tend to be
very experienced existentially
and our experience of reality
is very valuable when viewed creatively
and inspirationally
the very thing that you think you’d hate to be
may be the key, to your greatest destiny
may be the key, to your greatest testimony
it just might be, said it just might be
the perfect test to see
if you can really be, if you can really really be,
more than you were born and blessed to be
Paradox April 2011