Below is an example of a main body paragraph. Let’s look at it and see how it could be improved. The essay question the paragraph is answering is: Tommo learns a lot about courage and cowardice. Do you agree?
Tommo was very shy at the beginning of the novel, be he had completely changed as the novel went on. Cowardice was showed a few times by Tommo, the time he couldn’t tie his shoe laces and didn’t ask anyone and waited for the teacher to say something. As the story went on, Tommo changed dramatically. Tommo always wanted to tell someone about how his beloved father died. That shows that Tommo is completely down about himself and doesn’t have confidence inside him to tell anyone.
Answer the following questions:
- How can the topic sentence be improved?
- How can the linking sentence be improved?